It was a week ago today that sweet little Abby Noelle joined our family. After a pretty good night's sleep I woke up around 7:45 to contractions. With Cadence, I'd had a few days worth of false labor contractions so I was sure that's what these were... But they didn't stop. Even after I'd taken a hot shower.
At around 9:00 am I finally started to track them and they were averaging 4 minutes apart for a couple of hours, getting closer and closer and more and more painful. Knowing that I had been dilated to a 4 at my last doctor's appointment, I finally relented and Brody and I headed to the hospital.
By the time we got there, I was already to a 7! I was shocked-- it had taken me all day to dilate that much with Cadie. I promptly informed them that I did indeed want an epidural and the anesthesiologist came and gave me some kind of cross between a normal epidural and a spinal block (because I was so close to delivering it needed to be extra fast-acting). After another nurse came in to break my water, (which only took a few pokes with her finger) she told me I was fully dilated. I was super super numb but after one practice push, they called the doctor in to deliver. It was just Brody, the nurse, the doctor and I in the room this time. And around 2:15 pm and after only three pushes with contractions, she was there! (I pushed for almost 4 hours with Cadie so needless to say, I was shocked how quickly it happened.) It was such a fast, easy delivery, I am still surprised what a different experience it was the second time around. We were even able to leave the hospital after only 24 hours, which I couldn't have been happier about. I'm so so grateful for the doctors and nurses but I absolutely loathe the hospital.
Abby has been such a little sweetheart, she has been doing 4-hour stretches of sleep already this week and sleeps through just about everything (again, the polar opposite of Cadie). She's been such a joy and I my heart is so full of love for my little family of four.
For some reason I ALWAYS forget to take pictures on Thanksgiving. I'm going to assume it's because I get too sidetracked by delicious food to be bothered to stop and take a photograph. But alas, Thanksgiving weekend was a wonderful break from work, and we were super productive and finally got everything ready for Baby #2. It was an exciting morning at my parents--the power went out around 11 am, (the turkey was only halfway cooked), but as soon as everything had been sorted out and the Turkey was on its way to Lacey's to finish cooking, the power came back on. Of course.
We ate dinner at Brody's parents with the Shoffs and Thompsons, and everything was delicious! Cadie had so much fun playing with all of her cousins all day and singing Frozen's Let it Go to her hearts content. I took some 39-week photo bump pictures, only because it's fun to compare and for posterity's sake. And I had to get Cadie's latest silly expression where she scrunches her shoulders and grits her teeth, I love it. She has also become the prayer police and loves to fold her arms and make sure everyone else is too.
I can't believe we've officially begun the countdown for Baby Girl #2. I've tried to get as much Christmas stuff and shopping out of the way as I can. We are hoping Cadie is going to love having a little sister but are a little nervous for the transition. I can't believe we are days away from the due date!
20 weeks vs 39 weeks, I think my cheeks filled in almost as much as my belly
I had to ride Lacey's brilliant pregnant-costume coattails and borrow her Ghostbusters costumes for us this year. Brody was Venkman, I was the Stay-Puft Marshmellow Man, and Cadie was Slimer. I think a lot of people just thought I was a sailor, but for those who made the connection, I think they really appreciated it :) Plus I don't think there's ever been a more apropos costume for me than 'stay puft' in all my water-retaining glory, and I feel like I deserve some kind of gold star from the universe for voluntarily wearing men's white sweatpants in public at 8 months pregnant.
We felt like Cadie was still a little too young to go trick-or-treating (we didn't want to be those parents that just use their kids for free candy---there will be plenty of time for that next year), so we just had dinner at the ward Halloween party and then spent the night at Brody's parents. I just love Halloween and having a babe has opened up all kinds of wonderful group costume possibilities :)
Remind me never to take a picture with the awkward half-open cheese-ball smile, yikes haha
The Goose had to get in on the action but then immediately did not want her picture taken
Oh my heart, there is just nothing cuter than when she nestles in with daddy with a good book
It was so nice to watch conference this weekend and spend the days with my favorite people in the world. Conference is always so good for the soul, and the October session is always my favorite for some reason. I had Brody take some pictures of my 30-week bump (I've tried to be better about taking them more often, but I think I'm failing miserably). I can't believe we only have 10 weeks until Baby Girl #2 arrives!
Cadence is talking non-stop--most of it is still gibberish--but she has added quite a few more words to her repertoire including, 'hot', 'milk', 'juice', 'purple' and 'night night'. She loves to play peek-a-boo, get chased by anyone, and loves books more than anything :) Watching her run is probably my favorite thing in the world, and she loves giving people kissies with the cutest, most exaggerated pucker you've ever seen.
I spent some of the weekend putting up some fall decor around my mom's house. I don't have my own and it's almost unhealthy how excited I get and how much time I spend just thinking about having a house to decorate for holidays someday. I made that Halloween banner and advent calendar last year (total PB knockoffs), and I claim it's for my kids to enjoy but really...I couldn't wait to get them out of storage :) I may have already been stressing about the thought of not ordering Baby Girl #2's stocking early enough to have by Christmas...yes I've thought about this multiple times and I have the actual stocking already picked out and ready to go, we just need to decide on a name. Which, currently our front runners are Abby, Emily and Olivia.
I'm officially in my third trimester now (I'll post a bump update soon), and I'm starting to feel it. The kicks aren't magical, soft little movements anymore but painful, sharp jabs and stretches--I'd forgotten how bad they can hurt. But I must say this pregnancy has been a lot less painful overall and not just because we aren't dealing with the stress of a flooded apartment, graduation, and a cross-country move. There has been no tailbone pain to speak of, barely any sciatic nerve pain, and only a couple instances of round ligament pain so far (knock on wood). It's gone by so fast and I feel like once October hits the rest of the year will fly by. It's crazy to think that Baby Girl #2 will be here in 10 weeks, and that Halloween and Thanksgiving will both happen during that 10 weeks. Yikes!
Brody and I share a love of movies, or at least a desire to love movies, (I especially am becoming more and more hard to please..) and there are a lot of promising movies to look forward to this fall so I'm trying to keep my expectations in check while still allowing a good amount of excitement. But look how long that list is! Yay! Plus all our TV shows will be back on in the fall...
Spectre - I really liked Skyfall and can't wait to see Christophe Waltz as a Bond villain. Absolutely!
The Martian - The cast. The concept. Based on a good book. I'm there. (I also want to read the book so if you have a copy...)
Steve Jobs - I loved The Social Network and am really curious to see what Aaron Sorkin has done with Steve Jobs' story. Plus Danny Boyle intrigues me so it should be good, right?
Bridge of Spies - Spielberg and Hanks in a Cold War drama about an attorney? Yes please.
The Intern - I just kind of love Nancy Meyers movies (Father of the Bride, Somethings Gotta Give, It's Complicated) even though it's usually more for the homes and interiors than anything else ;)
Hateful 8 - Tarantino is a violent nut job, but that nut job knows how to make a good movie.
Spotlight - Michael Keaton, Mark Ruffalo, Rachel McAdams and Stanley Tucci uncovering the massive Catholic Church scandal? Yeah. I'd watch that. Plus I feel like Michael Keaton only comes out of the woodwork to do a really good movie so....we'll see.
The Revenant - I liked Birdman a lot so I'm really curious to see this one, plus it has Leo and he doesn't really make a bad movie....Leo*whispered*
Black Mass - This just looks creepy as all get out, I'll have to read the parental guidance before committing to this one but I do love me some Cumberbatch, Bacon and Depp
Snowden - I just find him and his story fascinating so I'd be curious to see this one if it gets good reviews.
The Walk - Man on Wire was a surprisingly great documentary so I'm definitely intrigued by this one. Plus it will be weirdly nice but also sad to see the twin towers again, if only through computer graphics.
Suffragette - In honor of all those amazing women that have gone before, movies like this need to be made. Plus is has Meryl Streep and Helena Bonham Carter so...yeah.
She was a little shy but we finally got to see her face
We had my 20-week ultrasound this week and found out that Cadence is going to have a little sister!
We are so thrilled and excited to meet this little goose, volume two. My sisters are my best and closest friends and I'm so excited for Cadie and Baby Girl #2 to have that as well. Sibling relationships are the longest of our lives--more than parents, more than spouses--and we don't take this amazing little being for granted. Everything looked healthy on the scans and I can't believe this pregnancy is already halfway over, I feel like it has flown by! We hadn't really even started to pick names so if you have some suggestions, let us know :)
20 weeks and finally hitting that second trimester sweet spot
It was such a nice, long holiday weekend. The 4th of July is easily creeping up the ranks of my favorite holidays. It's fireworks, family barbecues, and fun in the sun. It was so great to just relax and watch the Sugar House fireworks from our front yard like I did as a child. Cadie had so much fun playing with her cute cousins who just can't seem to get enough of her (I can't blame them).
The kids had a hard time staying in their seats for the whole show....Grammy was the only one left :)
It was also so fun to meet Cadie's newest cousin, Kinsley McCall Shoff. She finally got to come home after a week in the NICU, but she's doing great and we were so happy to get to hold her :)
Oh my goodness June is almost over. It's 100 degrees outside and I think it's safe to say that summer is in full swing. I wanted to get at least one more post in before the month was over and I've been meaning to at least post some pictures from Cadie's 1st birthday party.
It was so fun to have everyone over for Cadie's birthday, she seemed to have a pretty good time if I do say so myself :) We had both families over for a bbq complete with home-made ice cream (the best), and Cadie got her obligatory smash cake which was fun until we had to wash her off. She was not a fan of that part.
She is full-on walking now, she started walking basically on her first birthday and she is getting faster everyday. She's talking lots of gibberish but she's pretty sure she's saying real words. She is finally getting her teeth! (13 months later) and we are hoping that her recent proclivity for throwing tantrums is part of the teething process. And her hair is finally starting to come along (kinda) and looks like it will be a light honey brownish blonde.
I took Brody to Market street for a delicious Father's day dinner. He recently got a position for a firm downtown, Pia Anderson, and is actually working in the same building as me, exactly one floor up. Such a small world but we are beyond thrilled by this great opportunity. We made another small little announcement on Father's day, we are expecting baby #2 this December and are so excited to meet this little one. We find out the sex in July so stay tuned!
Also, Salt Lake is getting Google Fiber and crews were in front of my parent's house all week working on the installation. Wahoo!
I can't believe my baby girl is a year old! She is just the light of our life and is so full of personality we can't get enough. And. those. rolls. She's just so yummy! She is walking now, still a little unsure of herself but she's making so much progress!
We took a bunch of photos for her invitations and some of the faces she pulled, it was really entertaining :)
I remember it had been a long, exhausting Monday. I'd had to stay an hour late for work, I was pregnant, and my cankles were out in full force, and I was just so happy to be going home.
I gratefully got on the elevator with an older gentleman. I must have had a somewhat subdued and less-than-thrilled expression on my face, because he turned to me, a complete stranger, and said something along the lines of, "Oh come one, you can smile, it can't be that bad."
I must have given a courteous half-smile, which was probably all I could muster, and we both went our separate ways when we got to the lobby.
Now, I know this guy was completely well-intentioned. I know he was probably just trying to make me feel better....somehow. But the more I thought about it, the more sure I became that if I had been a man, he wouldn't have said anything at all. He would have just let me be. He probably would have assumed I'd had an important business deal that had gone south, maybe I'd just gotten off a long conference call. I don't think he would have told Brody to cheer up and smile. But being a young woman, I'm supposed to be perky and cheerful. I'm supposed to give him a big, bright smile when I get on the elevator.
I know that's me being extra sensitive. I know he meant well, really I do. But stuff like this happens all the time and after a while it's just grating. At my first full-time job after college I had this one co-worker, a much older married man with lots of kids and a wife at home. He would linger at my desk way longer than was welcome. He would make comments about my appearance that he wouldn't have said in front of his wife in a million years. And I never said anything. I always played it off as a joke, not wanting to stir the pot. I never reported him to HR and by my inaction, I taught this perv that it was okay to treat women that way. And I still haven't forgiven myself for it. I hate this man. To this day, I use the word hate with as much venom as I can ascribe to describe my feelings towards him. My skin would crawl when he was near me. I was actually uncomfortable in the workplace because of him and I let him get away with it. So yes, because of that experience, I'm probably extra sensitive to sexism. But never again. The other day when a different male co-worker described a couple of the guys in the office as "...working with a bunch of girls". I quickly reprimanded him "You say that as though it's a bad thing!" I absolutely put him in his place, and he probably thinks I'm a real word-that-rhymes-with-witch now. And I'm more than okay with that if it means he stops using that completely sexist expression. At my last job there was a creeper guy that used to address a bunch of the girls in the office as My ____, like my Mary or my Suzie but every guy in the office was Mr. _______. Really!? Not to mention he did things and said things to some of the girls that was absolutely sexual harassment, so we reported him to HR.Recently, I applied for a job that I was more than qualified for, and even according to the guy that interviewed me I was, and I quote, "...practically perfect in every way." Just like Mary Poppins. But because I have a one-year-old at home, and I'm a woman, I didn't get the job. He basically told me that in so many words when he explained to me that they were going with someone else. I doubt Brody will ever get passed up for a job because he has a child at home.
Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful I live in a place like the US and at a time when women have such incredible opportunities. Thanks to amazing women in the past, like my own mother, I have so much at my fingertips and have enjoyed a life full of amazing experiences and opportunities. But that doesn't mean we can't do better.
I am a feminist. That doesn't mean I burn bras on the weekend and hate men, really it doesn't. It means that I believe women should be free to choose for themselves. If you choose to be a stay-at-home mom, more power to you. If you choose to start your own company, go for it. It means I believe that I should get payed just as much as a man for doing the same job. It doesn't mean I don't love it when a guy opens the door for me. It just means I believe in equality...that's about it. So I don't understand when and why the word feminist got such a negative connotation. But I feel like it's finally starting to come back around and people are becoming more educated on what it actually means to be a feminist and it's exciting.
I'm not that big of a Star Wars nerd but I thought this was pretty funny for those who are super into it. Plus I loved Interstellar so it works on multiple levels. I am really excited for the reboot though!
Last summer, as we were road-tripping across the country, I think when we were in Illinois to be exact, we drove through some crazy scary rain and thunder and lightening and possible tornadoes. Brody was driving, I was in the back next to Cadence, gripping the door handle with white knuckles and my heart in my throat. We were going super slow, like 10 mph, but there was so much water on the roads, the car hydroplaned a couple of times. Visibility was almost nothing, and at one point we thought our car may have actually been hit by lightening. We had turned our music off and were scanning the local radio stations in case of tornado warnings.
I was terrified.
Having been in a pretty bad weather-related accident when I was in college, I'm already a nervous passenger, so I think I held my breath for about twenty minutes when we drove through the worst of it. I remember when the lightening struck, I immediately turned to Cadence, thinking she would be frightened or start crying and I would have to comfort her. She, however, was blissfully unaware that there was anything to be afraid of. She was happily fiddling with a toy and in her own little world. Business as usual for her. Totally unaware and unafraid, happy as a clam. And I remember thinking how strange it was and wishing I could be like that too. Plug me back into the matrix please.
I often worry about what kind of world I'm raising her in. One where social media will give her an actual, numerical count of how many people "like" her, or how many "friends" she has. One where she will always know if there is a party or some other gathering that she wasn't invited to because people will be posting pictures of it, in real time. Where bullies and mean girls have so many different platforms to comment, demean, and belittle. Where you are constantly comparing your worst to someone's highly-edited best. It's a little overwhelming and it's almost enough to make me want to move to the middle of nowhere and live totally off the grid. (I'd never actually make it but you get the idea).
But at some point she is going to learn to be afraid of the storm. She is going to come out of the blissful ignorance and innocence of childhood (as much as I'd love to keep her there forever), and she is going to need to be prepared. And the good news that I have to remind myself of, is that as much as social media can be horrible and evil, it can be just as much a force for good. Things like the #LikeAGirl campaign and all these wonderful anti-photoshop and pre-photoshop viral videos. Female characters that are strong and smart and aren't waiting to be saved by a guy. A world where a female president is an actual possibility (even though I think Hilary is SHADY-AS-SHIZ for that whole deleted personal email servers thing).
We are going to just have to make sure her self-esteem is rooted in things that are real and good. Teach her that she is smart and capable. That she can be the player on the field and not the cheerleader on the sidelines. That her value is so much more than a number on a scale, or number of 'likes'. That the world is a beautiful place, and is so much bigger than the bubble of her high school. That people are people no matter their religion or skin color or sexual orientation. That you treat the garbage man with as much respect as you'd treat the Queen of England. Teach her kindness and courage. That the term "trophy wife" is on par with most swear words ;) Teach her that she has divine heritage, that she was made by God, and he doesn't make mistakes. Teach her to love herself and be comfortable in her own skin. And teach her to love others and not burden herself with trying to judge them. Teach her empathy and forgiveness, and that when she falls, to pick herself back up.
Pheeeew! No pressure, right? At least for now I can just enjoy her innocence and try and avoid the storm as long as possible.
Posts
