Going Deep

Last summer, as we were road-tripping across the country, I think when we were in Illinois to be exact, we drove through some crazy scary rain and thunder and lightening and possible tornadoes.  Brody was driving, I was in the back next to Cadence, gripping the door handle with white knuckles and my heart in my throat.  We were going super slow, like 10 mph, but there was so much water on the roads, the car hydroplaned a couple of times.  Visibility was almost nothing, and at one point we thought our car may have actually been hit by lightening.  We had turned our music off and were scanning the local radio stations in case of tornado warnings.

I was terrified.

Having been in a pretty bad weather-related accident when I was in college, I'm already a nervous passenger, so I think I held my breath for about twenty minutes when we drove through the worst of it.  I remember when the lightening struck, I immediately turned to Cadence, thinking she would be frightened or start crying and I would have to comfort her.  She, however, was blissfully unaware that there was anything to be afraid of. She was happily fiddling with a toy and in her own little world. Business as usual for her.  Totally unaware and unafraid, happy as a clam.  And I remember thinking how strange it was and wishing I could be like that too. Plug me back into the matrix please.

I often worry about what kind of world I'm raising her in.  One where social media will give her an actual, numerical count of how many people "like" her, or how many "friends" she has. One where she will always know if there is a party or some other gathering that she wasn't invited to because people will be posting pictures of it, in real time. Where bullies and mean girls have so many different platforms to comment, demean, and belittle. Where you are constantly comparing your worst to someone's highly-edited best.  It's a little overwhelming and it's almost enough to make me want to move to the middle of nowhere and live totally off the grid.  (I'd never actually make it but you get the idea).

But at some point she is going to learn to be afraid of the storm. She is going to come out of the blissful ignorance and innocence of childhood (as much as I'd love to keep her there forever), and she is going to need to be prepared.  And the good news that I have to remind myself of, is that as much as social media can be horrible and evil, it can be just as much a force for good.  Things like the #LikeAGirl campaign and all these wonderful anti-photoshop and pre-photoshop viral videos. Female characters that are strong and smart and aren't waiting to be saved by a guy.  A world where a female president is an actual possibility (even though I think Hilary is SHADY-AS-SHIZ for that whole deleted personal email servers thing).

We are going to just have to make sure her self-esteem is rooted in things that are real and good. Teach her that she is smart and capable. That she can be the player on the field and not the cheerleader on the sidelines.  That her value is so much more than a number on a scale, or number of 'likes'.  That the world is a beautiful place, and is so much bigger than the bubble of her high school. That people are people no matter their religion or skin color or sexual orientation. That you treat the garbage man with as much respect as you'd treat the Queen of England. Teach her kindness and courage. That the term "trophy wife" is on par with most swear words ;)  Teach her that she has divine heritage, that she was made by God, and he doesn't make mistakes. Teach her to love herself and be comfortable in her own skin. And teach her to love others and not burden herself with trying to judge them. Teach her empathy and forgiveness, and that when she falls, to pick herself back up.

Pheeeew! No pressure, right?  At least for now I can just enjoy her innocence and try and avoid the storm as long as possible.