What yesterday seemed like a major problem suddenly gets lost in the harsh clarity of real life.
More real than I am used to.
In an instant, what you have been stressing over for months becomes nothing more than shades of gray.
There are moments in life when you feel a cold, iron vice close around your heart, and you have to remind yourself how to breath.
in.
out.
There are moments in life when words like "stage", "treatment", and "options" catch in your throat and all you can think is why.
Why now? Why her? Why anyone? Why?
Moments when words carry more weight then your feeble soul can stand. When words leave a footprint on your heart.
in.
out.
There are moments that make you feel guilty for every selfish, shallow complaint that's ever passed your lips. Those trivial, insignificant moments of passing disappointment that you indulge yourself in complaining about because you've never had to deal with real devastation.
Real life.
Moments that make you claw at some form of explanation or justification.
Moments when the perfect bubble that was your life bursts. And every remaining droplet burns a tiny hole in your heart making each breath a conscious, rattling effort.
in.
out.
And there are moments in life that define character. And you get to see just how strong and beautiful you always knew she was. You get to see love, faith, hope, and courage.
So much courage.
You get to see the kind of person you've always looked up to. The kind of person you know you will never compare to. The last person to deserve it.
And all you can do is hope.
Hope for some fraction of her strength. Hope that the doctors are right.
And hope that real life doesn't get the best of you.
Monday, June 28 at 4:27 pm was one of those moments.
We found out that Lacey has skin cancer. It is a stage-1B melanoma in her leg. She has surgery next Wednesday to remove the tumor and surrounding skin and do further testing to see if it has spread to her lymph nodes. To hear the full story please read her blog here. It has been a rough week to say the least, but we are trying to stay positive. Lacey is truly amazing. She hasn't uttered a single complaint and has been so positive and uplifting.
Please keep her in your hearts and prayers.
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4 comments:
umm lindsey, that was beautiful. I don't really know what to say but that i love you so much and am so grateful for your love and friendship. Linds, you had to go and make me cry. thank you. love you! everything will be fine.
That was very beautiful! Chad and I will definitely keep your family in our prayers. We miss you guys!
Thanks sister for putting into such beautiful words what I am feeling also and are to scared to say out loud.
love you linds.
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